Dangers

“Walk with wise men, and thou shalt be wise;
But the companion of fools shall smart for it.” — Proverbs 13:20 (ASV)

“Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals.” — 1 Corinthians 15:33 (ASV)

“The rod and reproof give wisdom;
But a child left to himself causeth shame to his mother.” — Proverbs 29:15 (ASV)

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.” — Ephesians 6:4 (ASV)

A mother’s work of training begins in infancy. From the earliest years, children should be taught obedience, self-control, and respect for proper authority. As they grow older, parents should continue guiding them rather than withdrawing their influence too soon. Time should be taken to reason with children, correct their mistakes, and patiently show them the right path. Much of a child’s later religious experience is affected by the instruction and character formation received during childhood. When the will has never learned to submit to rightful authority, submission to the will of God may later become a far more difficult struggle. Parents therefore carry a solemn responsibility in the early formation of character.
— 4bSG 132.3

Even when children personally choose to follow Christ and turn away from worldly pleasures, parental guidance is still needed. In fact, their spiritual warfare against pride, sinful passions, envy, jealousy, hatred, and other tendencies of the natural heart has only begun. Parents should continue to counsel and guide them, helping them understand that cheerful obedience to proper parental authority prepares the heart to understand willing obedience to God.
— 4bSG 133.1

Parents should cultivate a close and trusting relationship with their children, encouraging them to speak openly about their worries, disappointments, questions, and difficulties. When children feel free to share what is in their hearts, parents can better understand their individual temperaments, recognize the influences affecting them, and offer wise counsel suited to their needs. Because parents have observed their children from their earliest years, they are in a unique position to identify both strengths that should be encouraged and character traits that need guidance or restraint. Such openness also enables parents to sympathize with their children, pray with and for them, and continually direct them to Christ as their faithful Friend and Counselor. A warm, understanding relationship between parents and children can remove unnecessary distance and provide a strong protection against many harmful influences.
— Paraphrased from 4bSG 133.2; 134.2; 138.1

Children who are continually indulged and accustomed to having their wishes granted may grow to expect others to serve, favor, and yield to them. When their desires are denied, they can become disappointed, resentful, and dissatisfied. Parents should not mistake indulgence for love or believe that gratifying every wish will secure their children’s affection. Such training can encourage selfishness, stubbornness, dependence, and a demanding spirit that may follow them into adulthood. Parents therefore carry a serious responsibility in shaping character during childhood, for the habits and principles formed in these early years can greatly influence whether their children grow toward usefulness and happiness or toward dissatisfaction and misery.
— Paraphrased and summarized from 4bSG 134.3; 135.1

Children should be trained from an early age to be useful, responsible, and willing to help both themselves and others. Parents should not excuse them from appropriate work out of misplaced affection or allow them to grow accustomed to idleness, for this can weaken both body and character and create an aversion to responsibility. Household duties should be introduced gradually according to a child’s strength and ability, teaching them that useful labor is honorable and that their contribution to the family is valuable. Regular work can strengthen the body, develop practical skills, encourage healthier thoughts, and prepare children to carry responsibilities faithfully as they grow. Parents should therefore train their children for lives of usefulness rather than allowing fashion, social expectations, or ideas of ease and refinement to make ordinary work seem undesirable or beneath them.
— Paraphrased and summarized from 4bSG 135.2–137.2

Religious education should begin while children are still very young, when habits, attitudes, and character are being formed. Parents should not assume that children are too young to understand spiritual things or postpone teaching them about repentance, faith, and a relationship with Christ until later years. Early childhood is a valuable time to direct the mind toward God, teach reverence for Him, and help children understand that they personally need a Savior. Scripture encourages the young to remember their Creator and seek Him early, showing that childhood is not spiritually insignificant but an important season for laying a strong foundation of faith that can influence the whole course of life.
— Paraphrased and summarized from 4bSG 138.2–139.1

Parents should give careful attention to both the education and mental development of their children, providing useful study, good reading, physical activity, and meaningful work that keep the mind productively engaged. An uncultivated or idle mind is more vulnerable to harmful influences, so parents should intentionally strengthen their children’s intellectual abilities and direct their thoughts toward what is useful and uplifting. At the same time, parents themselves are an important part of this education, because their words, attitudes, expressions, and self-control continually influence their children. They must therefore learn to govern their own temper and speech, while giving children the encouragement and guidance they need to develop sound principles and good character.
— Paraphrased and summarized from 4bSG 141.1–141.5

Children should be taught about personal faith and salvation while they are still young, rather than being told to wait until they are older to repent and believe. Even young children can understand basic truths about sin, Christ, and the way of salvation when these are explained simply and carefully. Parents and spiritual leaders should therefore make good use of early opportunities to guide children toward a personal relationship with God, recognizing that childhood is an important time for spiritual instruction and decision.
— Paraphrased and summarized from 4bSG 142.2

Parents should carefully supervise their children’s associations, movements, and time away from home, because young people are especially vulnerable to harmful influences before their judgment and character are fully developed. Companions can strongly shape attitudes, conversation, desires, and even a child’s view of parental guidance. Excessive freedom, frequent visiting away from home, or time spent without proper supervision may encourage children to feel independent before they are ready, compare their privileges with others, and begin to regard reasonable family boundaries as unfair. Parents should therefore remain closely involved, choose or guide companionship wisely, and make the home pleasant, loving, and welcoming so that children are less drawn toward outside influences that may weaken their character or spiritual interests.
— Paraphrased and summarized from 4bSG 143.1–144.3

For a fuller understanding of these principles and the dangers surrounding children and youth, parents are encouraged to read Ellen G. White, Spiritual Gifts, vol. 4b, pp. 132–147. The complete passage provides additional counsel, warnings, and practical instruction for guiding, training, and protecting children. You may return to the Faith Foundations page to download the book from the Ellen G. White Estate.